A Word From Our Associate . . .

We all have learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part of modern life.  But have you wondered, what if God decided to install voice mail?  Imagine praying and hearing this:

Thank you for calling My Father's House.  Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries

What if God used the familiar excuse& "I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now.  However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the line."
Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in prayer:
If you would like to speak to:
Gabriel, Press 1
For Michael, Press 2
For a directory of other Angels, Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, enter his or her social security number, then press the pound key.
(If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today.  Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
Please pray again Monday after 9:30am.  If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local pastor.
THANK GOD, HE DOESN'T HAVE VOICE MAIL AND HE LISTENS WHEN WE PRAY!!!
           --Fr. Michael Becker

School News&
Catholic Schools Week is coming soon -- January 30 through February 4, 2000.  Catholic Schools -- "Lighting the Way to a New Century"

Registration for St. John's School:  Registration of new and transfer students, including kindergarten for the 2000-2001 school year is part of CATHOLIC SCHOOLS WEEK, coming soon.  If you are considering enrolling your child in St. John's excellent, fully-accredited school, please join us at our Catholic Schools Week Open House, Sunday, January 30 from 12:00--1:00pm.  REGISTRATION TAKES PLACE IN THE GYM.
Please bring the following for registration:

1. Birth Certificate
   
2. Baptismal Certificate unless baptized at St. John the Baptist
   
3. Transfer students will present their most recent report card at time of registration.
   
4. Transfer students are subject to interview by the principal before being admitted.
   
5. A fee of $50 is paid at time of registration.  No student is considered registered unless this fee accompanies the registration form.