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From the Pastor&
If it were only a symbol, I'd say to hell with it.
-- Flannery O'Connor, 20th Century American Writer
By eating the dish of God's mercy, they anticipate the eternal mean where God, no longer in earthly symbols but in the accomplishment of his revealed glory, makes himself into the eternal meal of the redeemed. -- Karl Rahner, 20th Century German Theologian
Lord Jesus Christ,
you give us your body and blood in the Eucharist as a sign that even now we share your life. May we come to possess it completely in the kingdom where you live forever and ever.
-- The Roman Missal
Last week I was having lunch with two other pastors. One of them mentioned that an active parishioner, retired, with a spouse in a nursing home, died. His children, adults, had his "funeral" at a funeral home in a different suburb. The kids called in a Protestant minister to say some prayers. They never notified the parish, nor did they tell their mother about the death and funeral. She is mentally sharp, and only found out after it was all over! And the pastor found out through the grapevine.
The three of us found this very sad and troubling. Why wouldn't the adult children, who knew that their father was a practicing Catholic, have a Catholic funeral? He went to Mass every Saturday night. Other people in the parish knew him and cared about him.
A good funeral director would encourage the kids to notify the parish and suggest a Mass of Christian Burial. Most of the funeral directors I deal with are very helpful and cooperative with the Catholic church. There is one, owned by an out-of-state corporation that I would discourage using& they just make money with their services, caring little about the faith-life of the deceased.
I hope you make it clear to your children, or whoever will be in charge when the time comes, of your wishes for a funeral and burial. And if you are the adult child, do you know what are the wishes of your parent?
This fall we will have a funeral planning workshop. I'll invite Fr. Michael, the liturgy staff, the Pastoral Minister, a funeral home representative, and an attorney to be on a panel to help people put together their wishes. Questions to be addressed:
Cremation -- approved for Catholics in 1969.
Choosing a cemetery: costs; grave markers.
Choosing a funeral home: usual costs, etc..
Music at funerals.
The funeral liturgy: readings; day or evening?
The wake: the day before or all in one day?
Memorials.
How can the family participate?
When a spouse is non-Catholic: what should he/she know?
Your wishes concerning life support.
And, all your questions.
All baptized Catholics have a right to a Christian burial which includes celebration of Mass for the deceased. We never turn anyone away at St. John's who requests a Mass of Christian Burial& even if they haven't been practicing their faith life in the Church. Obviously, we can't do this for everyone in the Metro-area. But we will be there for parishioners and people living in our geographical area who want a Mass or service for a loved one. Never hesitate to ask one of the priests or deacons.
The Catholic funeral liturgy is the best rite around. If we do something good, it is funerals!
Peace!
Fr. Bill
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