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From the Pastor&
Two dads devoted to their children. Thomas Junta, 42, and Michael Costin, 40, watching their children play hockey last week. The boys playing hockey got too rough; the fathers got into a fight. One dad died from his injuries. It has become a national symbol of rage.
Our children are watching us and they are listening to us. Did you take the time to talk about this "brawl" with your children, teenagers, young adults? It is a teaching moment.
How do we talk to the young about disagreements, arguments, pushing and shoving, getting into fights? Boys, and girls, are sometimes taught by their parents to push back, and push harder. They are taught to make sure that they can "handle" themselves. Violent behavior is often taught at home.
Problem-solving is the way we attempt to work through our difficulties. Some people use violent behavior to solve their problems. It is becoming more common in our society, sad to say. Kids with guns; teens in gangs; child abuse; spousal abuse; road rage; where does it stop? Violence creates new problems.
As disciples of Christ we believe in forgiveness. Any of you who are married or in a relationship know that conflict happens in life, even with the people we love the most. Does overpowering or manipulating someone else to get one's own way, using loud, violent and abusive language, or refusing to talk about issues, follow the teachings of Jesus? Where do people learn mean and violent behavior? Most often at home.
Yes, we want children to be strong and stand on their own two feet. How do you define strength in a positive, gospel way? Christ may look like a "pushover" on Good Friday, or one can see him as the "victor." He didn't need to be in control of the crowd.
There is a difference between being a "passivist" and being a "pacifist". A pacifist does not use violence to resolve conflict. We need to teach peaceful resolutions to conflicts at home. Healthy parents teach their children about acceptance and tolerance of others. Words like the dignity of each human being and self-respect are part of the vocabulary of good parents. When a child is criticized or put down by the parents, that child is more likely to respond aggressively toward others.
Michael Costin, the dead father in Massachusetts, first saw violence when he was about 15. His brother, Dennis, 17, was killed at home of a stab wound to the heart. His father, 42 at the time, was convicted of manslaughter. Michael went to prison seven times for crimes that ranged from assaulting police officers to breaking and entering with a loaded gun.
The other father, Thomas Junta, had his share of problems. At age 17, he damaged a skating rink and did $3,300 worth of damage in 1975. Later, he was found not guilty.
Why didn't two adults just walk away. One dead. The other looking at a prison sentence. Two families suffering. Why?
Teach your children before it's too late.
Peace!
Fr. Bill
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