From the Associate&

     Are you finding your spouse to be an enigma?  Do you find that your interactions reveal a complementarity in gifts and desires?  Are there roles better suited to a particular gender, or does equality mean that each individual performs and shares the same tasks?  It seems to me, that if we examine Ephesians 5:21ff., the dreaded passage about wives being submissive to their husbands, we discover true Christian principles and ideals for every Christian couple.  Verse 21 of this passage reads, "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ."  This verse holds up mutuality as an ideal for married couples, especially as it is expressed in sacrificial love, and this is the context for everything, which follows.  The point is that when a husband and wife truly love each other, they hold as primary in their heart, the needs, dignity and happiness of the other.  Thus, the ultimate context for this passage is love!
     The passage also points towards differences, or complementarity, in feminine and masculine roles, which better serve the marriage.  It states that husbands should do the following: "love your wives" (stated three times: vss. 25, 28, 33), give yourself "up for her" (vs. 25), and "tenderly care for" her, as Christ does for the church    (vs. 29).  Wives are to do the following: "respect" (vs. 33), and "be subject" to (vss. 22, 24) their husbands.  This final verse, always ruffles a lot of feathers, and rightly so, when misunderstood, and when a woman has experienced her husband as oppressive, abusive, or unloving.  We must remember, that just above, it stated that husbands and wives are to be "subject" to one another (i.e., husbands also "subject").  What's the difference?  In the context of sacrificial love, husbands are meant to take a leadership role in families, especially spiritually.  This leadership does not mean the abolition

of mutuality in discernment, decision-making and the sharing of chores.  Rather, it reveals the crucial role that a husband and father plays in the spiritual advancement and moral formation of the family.  A husband is called to be like Christ, that is, to lay down his life for his wife and family.  In a true environment of love, this leadership is a great blessing: e.g., when a father calls his family    together for prayer, as well as teaches his children, by word and example, how to love as Jesus did.  I believe that many husbands do not love, because they do not know how to love, in large measure the result of having been hurt in life.  If men could be healed of emotional pain, their hearts could be opened again to love and vulnerability, and the healing of women would naturally follow.
     There is one more beautiful principle contained in this passage, and that is the ideal of unity: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh" (vs. 31).  Thus, within the Ephesians 5:21ff. passage, we find at least three wonderful goals for married couples: mutuality, complementarity, and unity . . . and sacrificial love is the key to it all.
 
Fr. Michael

Faith Formation&
REGISTRATION FORMS for fall 2001 have been sent.  Please fill out one registration form per family for all   programs.  Early registration ends May 31.  If you have questions call Sandy at 651-633-1540.

CONFIRMATION
St. John's Confirmation will be this Thursday, May 31 at 7:00 p.m. at the St. Paul Cathedral.  For those who signed up to ride the bus, please meet in the west parking lot at 5:20 p.m., the bus will depart St. John's parking lot at 5:30 p.m. and will return at 8:30 p.m.  A BIG THANK YOU TO OUR ADULT CHOIR WHO WILL SING AT THIS CELEBRATION!  Please keep all our Confirmation candidates in your prayers.

SEEKERS:  ADULT THEOLOGICAL BOOK CLUB
Our next meeting will be Thursday, June 7.  The book to read is The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels.  You are   always welcome to join us to discuss a book that captures your interest, or as a regular member.  Explore your faith, expand your vision.  Read the selection for June and join on Thursday, June 7, 7-8:30 p.m. in the parish center. Questions?  Call Mary Ann Zervas at 651-633-1540.  (The book for July 12th is: The Ironic Christian's Companion, by Patrick Henry, Riverhead Books, N.Y.)