St. John the Baptist, our patron saint, once said, "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30, speaking of Jesus and himself).  This is a mark of sanctity, namely, the sincere desire that only Jesus Christ would be known and loved, through all of one's actions.  St. Patrick once prayed, "Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in quiet, Christ in danger, Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger" (St. Patrick's breastplate).  In my own brief meditations upon human nature, I've pondered this question, "Are there some characteristics within the nature of man and woman, which tend towards this holy disposition of decreasing in self-concern, that a greater good and freedom may be achieved?"  Theology teaches us that grace builds upon nature: i.e., the supernatural upon the natural.  St. John's and Patrick's yearnings for Christ to be all in all, were grace infused.  But were there any prior natural tendencies towards selflessness, upon which this grace was planted? 
     I believe within man and woman there is a natural proclivity towards others centeredness, which grows as one matures in adulthood.  But this natural gift is often stunted and corrupted by sin, breeding not greater selflessness, but greater selfishness.  I think "caring" and "loving" (of spouse, children, neighbor) are words we can use to describe a core natural gift in women, whereby one witnesses to, and grows in the joy and freedom of self-donation.  "Providing" for and "protecting" are words, which describe a core natural gift in men, whereby we are led to give our life away for the sake of others' happiness (and paradoxically our own).  It is a paternal gift.  I find it reflected in God: especially in the metaphor of "wings": Scripture says that all of God's children find "refuge" and "rejoice" "in the shadow of Thy wings" (Psalms 17:8; 36:7; 57:1; 61:4; 63:7; 91:4).  Jesus said, "Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you no of more value than they?  Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear?' . . . indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things" (Matthew 6:26,31).
     When I go to a restaurant with my family, I experience this desire within my heart, to pay the bill.  And my father wants to pay the bill.  And his father wanted to pay the bill.  And my uncles want to pay the bill.  This is a  paternal gift, by which we show our love for family and friends, and grow naturally, in others centeredness.  It is also experienced in our opening a door for a woman, and/or carrying her luggage.  We desire to provide for, and protect especially our families, but other friends and relatives as well.  To live selfishly is to distort and diminish this gift.  But if we let God's grace transform our souls, and purify our motives, we may rediscover this natural propensity for a self-donation, and God will multiply it exceedingly through a supernatural favor.

Fr. Michael