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Before I Forget…
§ Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
§ People are funny: they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of church.
§ Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
§ Quit griping about your church, if it were perfect you couldn't belong.
§ If your church wants a better pastor, pray for the one you have.
Do you remember being a teenager? Would you like to be 16 or 17 again? If you are a parent to a teenager, what is the best thing about being a parent of a teenager? What do you find challenging about being a parent of a teenager? How did our parents do it (raise teenagers) and come out smiling? Was it easier to raise a teenager in the '30s, '40s, '50s, and '60s?
Patt and Steve Saso in their book, 10 Best Gifts for Your Teen (Ave Maria Press, 1999, Notre Dame, IN) identify what young people need from their parents.
Respect is the key to a successful parent-teen relationship. We have to take them seriously, separate what they do from who they are, avoid comparisons and respect their plans.
Give them room; give them the privacy they need.
Be receptive to what your teen is saying. Stop whatever you are doing, face them, make eye contact, and listen with your full attention.
Reveal yourself to them, your past, your present, as well as your dreams for the future. When you share your struggles and reflect on your life experiences, you are inviting them to do the same.
Teach them to be responsible (a life long process). Give them choices and hold them accountable for the consequences. Help them set goals and model responsible behavior.
Parent with resolve means sharing and living out your values, setting clear limits and rules to keep them safe. Be consistent; follow through when limits or rules are broken, using mistakes as learning opportunities. Build a support system with other families/ parents.
Give your teen recognition for their successes, hard work, and strengths. Express your love for them and say, "I love you." Trust them, attend their events, and accept him/her for the person he/she is.
Remember the importance of reconciliation . Everyone makes mistakes. By example, teach them the importance of forgiveness. Ask and receive forgiveness if you made a mistake. Teach them how to heal a wounded relationship. Reconciliation demands respect, sensitivity to feelings, vulnerability, honesty, responsibility, self-discipline, and courage. If you model reconciliation, teens will be more open to admitting their mistakes.
Release them--the gift of letting go! Give them more and more freedom, as they get older. Encourage them to be their own person. It's about helping them grow up. When they leave home, they will be ready for a career or college.
Number 10 is my own. Remember them in prayer everyday. Lift them up to the Lord before you go ballistic!
After all, they belong to God.
St, John's is committed to our youth. We want to see them become the best person they can be. And we want them to be excited about the Christian Life, Gospel living. For several years Rick Craig, and then his company, offered a youth ministry program for our young. After discernment, we have decided to make a change. We have offered the position of youth ministers to Libby Hudak and Brad Dupont. They will be married in June, and in July, they will join our staff as ministers to youth. They are enthusiastic about the faith and young people. It will be a change, but a good change. Rick and his employees did a good job for us, and now it's time for a new direction.
Let's all model the Christian life for our teenagers. It's a great journey that we are taking.
Fr. Bill
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