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MARCH 9, 2003- First Sunday of Lent
† The Spirit drove Jesus out into the desert, and he remained in the desert for 40 days, tempted by Satan.
Mark 1:12-15
'TIME OUT!'
Every so often a child needs a "time out."
A fight over toys escalates to the crisis point. A new crayon mural has been unveiled on a freshly-painted wall. The living room looks like a level five hurricane has blown through it.
"O.K., time out!" And off the child goes to his or her room--not so much for the child's sake but for the sake of the overwhelmed and exhausted parents.
Child psychologists point out that children need "time outs" not because they are in league with the devil. A child's misbehavior is often the result of frustration - not knowing how to deal with a new situation, not being able to control their emotions, not understanding how their behavior affects others. So learning experts suggest that parents discipline not to punish but to teach. Instead of correcting a child with "You shouldn't have done that," ask "Do you realize what you did?" Instead of saying "You hurt her feelings," ask "Do you know how that made her feel?" Instead of ordering the child to apologize to someone, ask the child to think about what the child should do to make that person feel better. These subtle differences tell children that Mom and Dad believe that they can be counted on to clean up their own messes, that their strengths are valued.
Dr. T. Berry Brazelton writes in his new book Discipline that "a child needs to know, and know that his parents know, that to make mistakes is to be human. [the child] needs to know that his/her mistake can be understood and forgiven, even though there will be a price to pay. In fact, the consequence can be offered to reassure [the child] that he can be forgiven. Mistakes can be seen as necessary for self-worth. [the child's] capacity to believe in his own progress needs to be supported by his parents faith in him."
CONNECTION: Even we "older kids" need a time out- a time out to regain control of our lives, a time out to recognize how our actions affect others, a time out "to do the right thing" for its own sake, a time out to consider the changes we need to make in our behaviors and what reparations we need to make. The season of Lent is God's call for just that sort of "time out". As Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness to discern what God was calling him to do with the next part of his life, the Spirit of God calls us to our own "wilderness experience" to confront the hard choices we must confront in our own lives- choices between the values of God and the far lesser things of the world that can isolate us, hurt others and diminish God's creation. So let this Lent be a "time out" for us big kids, a time of prayer and reflection on what we want our lives to be, a time to put on hold as much of the busy-ness of life as we can to re-center our lives on God and the things of God.
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